Well, it's my birthday too. Yeah.

So. 

Yes. Hi. Remember me? 

I'm going to assume that, yes, you do, or you wouldn't be here in the first place. Unless you're one of those folk who meets people through their blogs. In which case... greetings. Earthling.

(Oh shut it - I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. It's been a long, long time, in case you hadn't noticed. You can oblige me a dad joke or two. Hopefully, because I'm bound to have a second one.)

At any rate, this bit of Jumanji-era glory is appropriate, not only because of my dearth of blog posts (so sue me. I did some stuff... I taught a class and wrote two thirds of a thesis, acted in one play, and directed another. About squids), but, as the particularly astute readers will know, because I am writing this on my 25th birthday. Yup. I just reached a quarter of a century (phrasing it that way always reminds me of the How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying song). And I suppose that's pretty noteworthy. 

For a while, I struggled with the idea of being 25 - mostly due to "oh gawwwwddd, what have I accomplished in all this time?!" moanings, which usually progress into my vindictive mental soundtrack, courtesy of Forgetting Sarah Marshall (and Kristy by proxy - that'll teach you to introduce me to things). But lately I've been pretty zen about solidifying my status as a 25-year old. I've been referring to myself as such for weeks to try to help wear it in, and I daresay it fits rather more comfortably now. Occasionally I still get pangs of "Eep, what are you doing with your life?" but for the most party I'm feeling pretty solid about where my life is right now. I'm on the cusp of finishing my Masters Thesis, I'm in the thick of job applications, and I'm moving in with someone rather special to me. I'm not sure if it quite matches up to where childhood Kevin imagined he'd be at 25 (especially since that version involved being an astonishingly successful Hollywood actor/director/writer/producer married to Emma Watson), but I like to think that he could still spare me a high five at least. 

So, taking example from my dear friend Sym, I thought I'd shake things up a bit for this 'welcome back/you're old, you slob' post. Instead of structuring these ramblings around a fact, I've challenged myself to document '25 significant (sort of) things'. Initially I was going to have a list of "25 important life lessons I've learned in my 25 years of life, but I could only think of about four, and it was embarrassing. Instead, I've structured them into five convenient, pocket-sized "Top Five" lists, High Fidelity style. Enjoy! 

Top five places I'd like to go:

1. Bali

2. Galápagos Islands 

3. Scotland (well, I'd be revisiting this one, but I'd really like to spend a longer chunk of time there - perhaps a bunch longer)

4. Hawaii

5. San Diego Comic Con

Top five favourite animals:

1. Manta ray

2. DOG

3. Rhino 

4. Chameleon

5. Humpback Whale (not so fun fact: you can see how the shittiness involving this pipeline controversy has ramifications for their survival here)

Top five cartoon ducks:

1. Darkwing Duck

2. Deadeye Duck 

3. Daffy Duck

4. The Mighty Ducks

5. Donald Duck

Bonus: Howard the Duck

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a quack-tacular photo gallery!

Ahem.

Top five fears I'm glad I got over:

1. That if I didn't see anyone in my friend group for over a week they'd all hate and exclude me when I came back (I'm particularly this one died out a while ago, or coming to Vancouver would have been particularly agonizing)

2. Butterflies

3. Slugs and snails

4. That if I got drunk I'd just be a belligerent mess who just tried to horn on everyone and pick fights all the time (this, thankfully, could hardly be further from the truth) 

5. Claustrophobia in crowds (it's not really gone, but it has died down substantially in the past year or so, which I'm very thankful for)

Top five things I'm looking forward to doing at age 25 (Kristy's suggestion - she's better at this sort of thing than I am):

1. Moving in with Kristy (perhaps a bit of a "duh" entry, but it's significant enough that I don't think it's a cheap inclusion at all)

2. Defending my thesis and graduating my Masters (ditto. I'm at the point where I'm actually really enjoying my writing now, which can only mean it's about to end)

3. Going paintballing. Yes finally. Shut up Becky...

4. Doing a century club. Maybe on a beach with MIKE AND GRANT once they VISIT VANCOUVER in August (I'm a little bit excited - can you tell?)

5. Occasionally feeling, and even acting, my age, and being titillated by the prospect. Maybe I'll throw an adult-style dinner party! Perhaps even buy a couple of button-up shirts not just for fancy occasions! Maybe even go to bed at a reasonable time!

...whoa, okay. Let's not get too ambitious here. 

But that's not all! I even have a fact, courtesy of my fabulous, Cephalopodian friend Michelle! Check it out!

#58: 'Hysteria' in women, in the days of yore, was believed to have been caused by a floating uterus. 

That's right! In the astoundingly patriarchal days of humours and leech blood-letting, the concept of feminine hysteria was so linked because of the overwhelming feeling of floating many patients would describe. As such, it was believed that getting knocked up was a good medicinal(!) solution, because those helpfully heavy ol' sperm would help weigh down that troublesomely suffragettin' uterus(!!). If you ever wanted a prime example of ideology at its finest... 

So there you have it! I'm old, I like to ramble, occasionally pictures of cartoon ducks crop up in my writing, and... uh... welcome back, I suppose! I'll see you in another four months!*

(*Hopefully not that long a gap this time, but I promise nothing.) 

And now, in conclusion, here's a picture of Jeff Goldblum with a monkey. Don't say I never did nothin' for ya.