HONK

Gud mornink. 

Or afternoon, if you're in Ontario.

Or... extremely, sleepytime early, if you're in New Zealand. 

Figure it out for yourself.

So. Anyone who's been interacting with me these days will known that I have been debilitatingly, distressingly, devastatingly allergic of late. Like, resorting to walking around with bits of kleenex stuffed up and jutting out of my nose in the shameful privacy of my own home, like some sort of sad, tusk-clipped walrus kind of allergic. I had to stop to sneeze three times and blow my nose after typing that sentence.

It's also occurred to me that, in spite of my prior mocking of parasaurolophus, the obnoxious honking of me blowing my nose probably sounds exactly like them.

...because parasaurolophus is a dick.

Oh the cruel irony! Or, to paraphrase what Becca always says...

Did you know Tintin also rode a parasaurolophus at one point? 

Except no he didn't. This is a made up picture from deviantart. Which, apparently is also the best place to find pictures of sexy, anthropomorphized dinosaurs when you google image search 'parasaurolophus'. Now that's an image I didn't need stuck in my head. Thanks, deviantart. 

Okay, pictures are fun, but I'm done with parasaurolophus. FOR NOW.

Here's my fact of the day. It stems from my interest in my goddamn allergies. PLOT TWIST!

So, the reason why mucus flares up like crazy when you're allergic is because your mucus membranes, which are tasked with keeping your nose, mouth, lungs, etc. moist and happy, dry out, or are otherwise irritated. Y'know - by things like pollen, dust mites, and other typical allergens. When this happens, they go into overdrive - or, to use the more science-y word, 'hypersecretion' - and pump out a shit-ton of mucus to counteract this, and restore the balance to normal. Except the mucus membranes are basically hallucinating and delusional during this period, because their 'normal' turns into a horrible deluge of dripping, nose-clogging, headache-ing, throat-itching, kleenex-swamping messiness. 

None of that is particularly new, I realize. But here's a simple but kind of effective way to help such torment. My fact #3: drinking a lot can help alleviate allergy symptoms. 

No, I'm not talking about this: 

But, apparently, drinking a lot of water can actually help allergies. This sounds overly simplistic, and it is. I'm not trying to publish some sort of bullshit "how drinking water singlehandedly cleared up all my allergies - and why YOU can too!" mantra. Allergy meds are also thoroughly awesome, and kleenex is essential. But, in some crazy Occam's razor kind of way, it makes sense. The mucus membranes either are or believe they are all dried out, right? So, hydrating the body more could only really help. 

I tried it, when my allergies reached a point of hysterical desperation, and... well, it certainly didn't make them worse. Indeed, even though years of academia have made me horrendously skeptical and tentative about just about everything not conclusively proven, I would even hazard to put myself out there as saying that pointedly trying to drink more water made my allergies more tolerable. Phew! Being low-order assertive is exhausting.

So there you have it. As always, water is basically the solution to everything. 

In conclusion, the Peter Jackson-directed sequel to Tintin should include dinosaurs. It's titled Prisoners of the Sun. Who's to say those prisoners COULDN'T BE DINOSAURS?!?!?!?! As long as they look a bit more convincing than the v-rexes in his King Kong reboot (and, just for Jess - Jack Black: "It was beauty killed the beast." Random, superbly entertaining kid in the cinema: "...WHAT?!"). 

Yeah, good try Pete. And I say this as someone who used to love the shit out of the 2005 King Kong, but still never thought the v-rexes were all that. 

And, in conclusion-conclusion (the proverbial 'P.P.S.'):

This beat out the Hugh Jackman one because of the serene look on Mr. Manatee Laurie's face here.

And... that's all I've got. 

Mike drop.