Melawholawhatnow?

Salutations.

Today I revived my bike from the dead. It has rejoined the world of the living. And it was glorious. Between the first euphoric seconds travelling fast and free, thinking "Good God this is bliss, I'll never walk again!" to, arriving at the lengthy hilly stretch between Alma and Sasamat, crawling along, drenched in sweat, like an overprivileged Sisyphus, I pretty much revisited the entirety of the biking experience.

Also, apparently biking posture is the worst of postures, which did wonders for locking up my already ailing neck and back.

Arriving at my destination, hands familiarly coated in bike grease, I proudly felt like Calvin's Dad.

I also decided today was a 'B' day, as all of my activities involved the letter B: biking, blogging, hanging out/chatting with Becky and Becca respectively, and, if the girl is not too tired, watching Bond. 

This is one of my favourite trailers to date, cheese and all. 

Today also yielded the following exchange:

Me: "I like to imagine Emma Stone as an angry dragon."

Becky: "Do you do this on a regular basis?"

Me: "Well, NOW I will."

[Becky stops to contemplate. At first I feel she is quantifying my idiocy. Instead...]

Becky: "I feel like she'd be a purple dragon." 

That made me smile. 

But, Enough of your wasting my precious reading time with your petty life anecdotes! Get to the fact, you indulgent authorial asshole! you're all screaming at your computer screens, spittle flying every which way. And...

I'm surprised it's taken me this long to bust out this oft trod gem. 

Or perhaps...

would be more fitting. 

It is very easy to be deliciously self-serving with one 'o these. I must confess, "Ehehehe, look at all the whimsy I can subject all these poor, foolish readers to" has crossed my mind more than once. Are you watching Bucky O'Hare yet? ARE YOU?

...he is "the funky fresh rabbit who can take care of it", you know. 

FINE. Be that way. 

My fact of the day pertains to freckles. 

Freckles. Everybody's got 'em, almost no one ever extends a second thought to 'em. 

Also: freckles - the word that when you write it down multiple times in a row, it starts to look like a made up, Dr. Seuss word. 

So, here goes. #5: freckles exist to draw the sun away from your skin, protecting it from sun damage. 

That's right - they're on your skin... part of your skin... protecting your skin from the sun. 

Freckles are concentrated pockets of pigment, called melanin, and they form in early childhood once your skin is first exposed to the sun. Essentially, they function like dark clothes, attracting the sun like fiendish magnets, so the rest of your skin is burnt less. That, naturally, explains why they pop out so much more during the summer, because they're essentially standing at attention, like a kind of strange sun-boner. 

I was trying to find a clip of Nathan Lane from The Producers gasping out "Madam, we're giving you a STANDING ovation!" Instead, I came across this , which, in my bleary 1:00am eyes, is definitely worth a giggle or two. 

So there you have it - an almost redundantly obvious fact rendered slightly less redundantly obvious. Hooray. 

Time for some duh-nu-nu-NUH-nuh-nuh-nuh-duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-NUUUUUH-nuh-nuh-nuh [didja figure it out? If not, click here and feel ashamed you didn't].

GOODNIGHT.