Craaaaaaab if you want her, she won't be coming doooooown

Today is basically the best day I've had in ages.

 First off: an impromptu trip to Toys 'R Us (always a guilty pleasure of mine), which yielded many secrets. I'd be more specific, but one is a surprise for the lady, which has yet to be revealed. Teehee. 

Then, Denny's lunch with the ever-awesome Madison and Becky. I was initially skeptical about going back to Denny's, but a) I was too hungry at that point to object to anything, and b) I discovered a meal that involved blueberry pancakes, strawberries, cream cheese-whipped cream icing, bacon, and hashbrowns. I dare you to invent a meal that I'd enjoy more.

 Then, a delightful afternoon at the beach with Becky, Megan, and Ally. Even the friggin' ocean was warmer, and made for a stupendous swim. Finally, to cap it off (before bloggin' it up, at any rate): watching Tommy. Yes, the rock opera by The Who. On VHS. Now I can dream of the voice of Roger Daltry, Elton John wearing giant glasses and boots, and Jack Nicholson.

You make my dreeeeaaams come true.

Did I mention all of this happened while I was wearing a Street Sharks shirt?

Yeah. Basically the best day ever.

I even got a particularly sweet fact of the day!

#15: CRABS. HAVE. TAILS.

Yes they do. I too was incredulous. But lookee! Lookee!

But why, you exclaim, have I never seen a crab with a tail?

Good question, young grasshopper. I asked myself the same question. Actually, I asked it, loudly, over my exquisite lunch at Denny's. Thankfully, Madison the Beach Hero (actually her official work title), who supplied me with this fact, was able to use her beach heroics to answer me. 

See, crabs normally have their tails folded up under them, flat on their bellies. Their differently shaped tails also help determine what sex the crab is. 

Male

Female

As you've doubtlessly noticed, because you're all immature buffoons like me, the male crab's pattern looks a lot like a dick. And even the female's, with its vaguely rounded shape, looks not entirely unlike a vagina (maybe try looking at it out of the corner of your eye. Still no? Maybe I'm stretching, but I could see it. Also, lawl. Stretching). Crab's bellies echoing human sex organs? Supacool. 

Now the girl is coming over and everything, to complete the package of unexpectedly best day in ages. So, in conclusion, since I haven't plugged Weezer in DAYS, and it actually ties in, listen to Weezer also sing about crabs, and have yerselves a swell evening!