Friday 12 July 2013

Sad Hulk, happy vibrators

Your lifetime membership is freeeeeeeee.

Tonight I saw How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying at TUTS. For you non-Vancouverites or not theatre-y people, that's 'Theatre Under the Stars' in Stanley park. A rather droll acronym, if only because it almost looks like 'tits' every time (side note: did you know The Bloodhound Gang's most infamous song is from an album called Hooray for Boobies? I found this out this year, and it made me chortle. Also, good luck getting that song out of your head now), and verges on triggering work trauma from my days of yore working projection at Princess Cinemas for the Tutts. Shudder. I legitimately still have quasi-nightmares about that sometimes. Fun times.

I also sorta-kinda-almost volunteered to do volunteer stage crew work for Legally Blonde: The Musical (the other TUTS production), which I saw with Becky yesterday. Although not doing so was unquestionably the right decision, there's still some dashes of guilt thurr. But let's not get into my Scorsese-esq guilt issues here. Phenomenal show though.

Anyway, How To Succeed. You know it as, "Whoa! Dan Radcliffe can sing and dance, rock an American accent AND a tweed blazer? Get out!" (or perhaps Darren Criss or Nick Jonas, but that would draw the slightest smidgen of judgment). I know it as the first show I did in university, and my first musical ever. Major nostalgia boner seeing it reenacted tonight. I found myself trying not to snidely dismiss the dude who played my inconsequential part for not seeming as interesting as I hoped I was in his place (and certainly not improv-ing as much). Ultimately I just miss acting. Yes already.

GRARRRGHHH YOUTUBE ADS MAKE ME WANT TO SMASH [ha! it's not even a Hulk clip hyperlinked either. Bet you were expecting that. Becca will get it, though. Further nostalgia for the win]

I just imagined Hulk being sad that I skipped out on referencing him, so I'll throw one in, if only because I just realized I haven't put any silly pictures in yet.















There you go. I do quite enjoy when 'laughing out loud' isn't just a figure of speech, as was just the case when I stumbled across this. Also, I've been having one of my phases where I've returned to drinking coffee of late, so... topical. Almost. Words.

On to things more factual.

My fact of the day today is about sex toys.



Yes James, I've missed you too.

Specifically...  #8: Almost all Asian vibrators have happy faces on them. Or resemble animals. And this is now a trend that has caught on elsewhere in the world.

This might seem very obvious to those of you with more vibrator experience, but it was news to me. The mentality behind it also was. Specifically, in Japan, building and selling sex toys had apparently always been a lucrative business, until there was a law passed that sex toys could no longer explicitly resemble male genitalia (too "obscene"... big surprise). So, to get around this, they started building vibrators that resembled happy animals, so, if pressed, they could pass them off as... exciting children's toys. Eww. 

But there you have it. Happy, animalistic vibrators. Freud would have a field day. 

How did I get led to this line of thought? Because I read an ad in the Georgia Straight on the way to How to Succeed about a dinosaur vibrator, which I thought sounded like the most hysterical and awesome thing of life. 


DINOBRATOR. Or, Kristy's contribution: Vibratosaurus Rex. Both golden.

Normally I'd try to close with something irreverent and funny, but I'm really tired. So, in conclusion, listen to Wolverine. With love.

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